GLAM CHOPS

Glam Chops is a Glam band that I am in. We played last night. I think it went quite well. Especially considering I've pretty much been out the country since October and we'd not had a chance to rehearse.

It was the first time we'd ever played our Christmas song live. We released it last year as a download for free. As we thought it might cheer people up in the bad economic climate.

We are still in a bad economic climate. So it is still free.

You can get it HERE

It's the second Christmas single I've been apart of. I was on Black Box Recorders song 'Christmas Number One' two years ago.

Im a bit sad that I was too busy with Art Brut/Everybody was In The French Resistance...Now this year to record a christmas song.

I think to make it up I want to record an entire Christmas album with Glam Chops for next Christmas. I've just got to convince the rest of them its a good idea.

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now

Art Brut Shoes.

Not sure what to get your loved ones for Christmas get them Art Brut shoes.

They come in three different flavours. Two of the flavours have Jeff Lemire's amazing album artwork on them.

You can buy them HERE

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now

We finally got round to adding our single to our myspace page.

You can now hear our song 'G.I.R.L.F.R.E.N (You Know I've Got A)

HERE

and you still have time (well until midnight tonight) to do us a favour and go and vote for it

HERE

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now

We're going on tour. Its going to be quite a big tour going all over the place but for now Im just going to give you the British dates. Well I say Britain but we're just doing some English dates. I'm sorry Scotland and Wales. I'm also sorry if we're not coming to your part of the country. Apart from Middlesbrough I'm glad we're not playing there.

In case we're not playing in your part of the country. I thought I'd write a nice thing about each city we're playing in, to perhaps tempt you out to have a little trip to come and see us.

LONDON

London is our nations capital. There is lots to do and see here. Buckingham Palace, The Tower Of London, The Tate, The Zoo, The Sherlock Holmes Museum, etc. This will be our first ever show. So if you are the sort of person that goes to shows hoping that something might go wrong and wants to see how the band react when it does this is probably the show for you.

LONDON DINGWALLS 9th FEB. BO: 0870 060 0100 Buy Tickets HERE.

NOTTINGHAM

Nottingham is probably best known historically as the home of Robin Hood. Even though a lot of scholars argue that if Robin Hood did even exist he probably lived in Barnstable. If your a purist for historical accuracy, even when it comes to what maybe fictional characters, fear not. There is still lots of non Robin Hood based fun to be had in Nottingham. As well as Robin Hood stuff they also have one of the few remaining Turkish Baths in England and a very nice Transport Museum.

NOTTINGHAM BODEGA 10th FEB BO: 0871 310 0000 Buy Tickets HERE

NORWICH

Although I can find no evidence of it someone once told me that there is a traffic roundabout in Norwich that has a family of Chickens living on it.

NORWICH ARTS CENTRE 11th FEB BO: 0160 366 0352 Buy Tickets HERE

BRISTOL

I love Bristol everybody that lives there speaks like a pirate. We are playing at the Thekla in Bristol which is a boat that used to belong to Vivian Stanshall. Those two pieces of information should be enough to make you want to visit Bristol by themselves. Although to gild the lilly a little it also has some theaters, some nice museums and a zoo.

BRISTOL THEKLA 13th FEB BO: 0871 310 0100 Buy Tickets HERE

LEEDS

The Kaiser Chiefs, The Music and The Pigeon Detectives are all from Leeds. Don't let that put you off though. Leeds has a lot going for it. Some even call it the Knightsbridge of the north. It has the only reparatory theatre outside of London and The Rough Guide To Britain claims shopping in Leeds is one of the top 30 things to do in the UK. It is also apparently one of the best places in the country to go mountain biking.

LEEDS BRUNDELL SOCIAL CLUB 14th FEB BO: 0871 230 0010 Buy Tickets HERE (haven't put their tickets on sale online yet)

MANCHESTER

I've gotten bored of this now. Its Manchester you know what its like. It has two football teams that don't get along and loads of bands came from there. Its nice. There are loads of pubs and its fun. Come and see us.

MANCHESTER RUBY LOUNGE 15th FEB BO: 0161 832 1111 Buy Tickets HERE

Okay. I apologise. I'm being a bit facetious in my descriptions of some of those places. Please don't beat me up over it. I genuinely love all of those cities and cant wait to be playing them with Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now.

Live Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now is going to be me, Dyan Valdés from The Blood Arm, David Newton who produced the album and used to be in The Mighty Lemondrops and a Drum machine/Backing track machine thing that I am thinking about naming Drum-free Bogart.

Here are the dates again without the tourist business written underneath them.

Feb 9th London Dingwalls

Feb 1oth Nottingham Bodega

Feb 11th Norwich Art Center

Feb 13th Bristol Thekla

Feb 14th Leeds Brudenell Social Club (haven't put their tickets for sale online yet)

Feb 15th Manchester Ruby Lounge

Hope to see you there.

COMMUNIQUÉ

Tracklisting :

1. Creeque Allies

Response to “Creeque Alley” by the Mamas and the Papas

“Creeque Alley” by the Mamas and the Papas is the story of the late sixties West Coast folk scene and the formation of their own band in the midst of it. “Creeque Allies” is the story of the early forties French resistance scene and the formation of the freedom fighters who eventually drove the Nazis out of France.

2. G.I.R.L.F.R.E.N (You Know I’ve Got A)

Response to “Girlfriend” made famous by Avril Lavigne

Pop songs have traditionally been “boy meets girl,” “girl meets boy,” “boy/girl overcome a problem,” or “boy/girl break up” – in the last decade or so, there has been an alarming new archetype in pop songwriting: “girl steals other girl’s boyfriend.” This is a divisive message to send to young girls everywhere, and songs like “Girlfriend” (see also “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift) only teach young women that they can derive more worth and status from stealing each others’ boyfriends than they can from realizing their own achievements.

3. (I’m So) Waldo P. Emerson Jones

Response to “Waldo P. Emerson Jones” made famous by the Archies

The Archies can’t figure out Waldo P. Emerson Jones, a new character on the block who impresses all of their girlfriends and generally shows everyone up. The Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! version tells Waldo’s side – he was a little-known “nerd” at their school who spent the summer reinventing himself and came back with added confidence, a new haircut and a much cooler name (Waldo P. Emerson Jones is clearly not the name his mother gave him).

4. The Scarborough Affaire

Response to “Scarborough Fair,” traditional

The singer of the 17th-century ballad “Scarborough Fair” instructs the listener to locate his former lover and charge her with a series of impossible tasks. The Everybody Was In The French Resistance…Now response takes his unreasonable demands to their logical conclusion.

5. Billie’s Genes

Response to “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson

The kid is your son.

6. Think Twice (It’s Not Alright)

Response to “Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright” by Bob Dylan

Breaking up is hard. Not everyone can be as tough as Bob Dylan, who claims that he needs to “travel on” when his lover wastes his “precious time.” Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! have read between the lines, and have rewritten the song based on how Bob Dylan most likely actually felt when he bid “fare thee well.”

7. Hey! It’s Jimmy Mack

Response to “Jimmy Mack” made famous by Martha Reeves and the Vendellas

Jimmy Mack heard Martha’s song. So he’s never coming back.

8. He’s a “Rebel”

Response to “He’s A Rebel” made famous by the Crystals

The Crystals sang a love song to “dangerous” men. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! opened up the conversation to other men, who see through the “rebel” schtick and argue that it’s all just an act.

9. Coal Digger

Response to “Gold Digger” by Kanye West

Kanye West patronizes the chip-shop janitor who is working his way towards cooking the fries. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! know that the janitor is just working to make ends meet until he gets his shit together and releases a hit record.

10. My Way (Is Not Always the Best Way)

Response to “My Way” made famous by Frank Sinatra

Paul Anka admires a selfish man’s death-bed declaration that living his life according to his own convictions and desires alone is enough. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! think that one should take others’ opinions into consideration.

11. Superglue

Response to “Vaseline” by Elastica

If Elastica had used superglue instead of vaseline (or for that matter, heroin) maybe they would have stuck together.

12. Walk Alone

Response to “You’ll Never Walk Alone” made famous by Gerry and the Pacemakers

Gerry and the Pacemakers (and all of Liverpool) are terrified of being alone. Everybody Was In The French Resistance… Now are comfortable with their own company.


Fixin’ the Charts, Volume One (COOKCD512) is a companion piece to all of these pop songs, but can be appreciated as a work in its own right. Pop music transmits all of our culture’s most valued ideals from one generation to the next; let’s make sure we get it right. Vive le Resistance!

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now

Just the facts.

This is the front cover.
The original photo was taken by Alfonso Valdes and turned into the cover artwork by Andrew Swainson

This is the Track listing

1) Creeque Allies

2) G.I.R.L.F.R.E.N (You Know I've Got A)

3) (I'm So) Waldo P Emerson Jones

4) The Scarborough Affaire

5) Billie's Genes

6) Think Twice (It's Not Alright)

7) Hey Its Jimmy Mack

8) He's A "Rebel"

9) Coal Digger

10) My Way (Is Not Always The Best Way)

11) Superglue

12) Walk Alone

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now are Dyan Valdes and Eddie Argos.

The album is called 'Fixin' The Charts' and was produced by David Newton at his studio 'Rollercoaster East' in Joshua Tree California.

It is out in January on Cooking Vinyl.