The show after Kennewick was Seattle. Nothing unusual or funny happened. It was just a gig in a bar with some people who seemed to enjoy it. We played with a band called the Tea Cozies. I really liked them. We swapped records with them. Theirs sounds a little bit like Elastica. Have a listen.
The next day we began our massive drive from Seattle to Minneapolis. It takes nearly three days of solid driving. The first day we drove 670 miles, which took about 12 hours. The landscape is just mountains or wide open plains. That can do funny things to your head. We arrived in Great Falls, where we were staying, at about 11pm. The only place left open still serving food was a fast food place called Hardees. The food didn’t look particularly appetizing, but as it was all there was and we were ravenous we went for it. Hardees was supposed to shut at midnight, but as it was a Sunday, whoever was working there had decided to shut up about thirty minutes early. We could see the fucker in there sneaking around trying to hide from us as our stomachs grumbled.
I think the long drive had made us go mad as when we got back to the hotel. Dyan wrote a strongly worded email to the company and Ian and I tried to eat instant noodles that we had cooked in coffee cups in the hotel microwave. As I shoveled burning hot yet uncooked noodles into my mouth with a makeshift fork I’d fashioned out of a straw and some coffee stirrers (Ian went for using biros as chopsticks). I got angrier and angrier I had to be physically restrained from going back to the Hardees and throwing a brick through the window. It’s lucky Dyan wrote the email. If it had been me it would have ended up as a death threat and the police would probably have become involved. Actually my email would have just been a photo of me in my pants using a pen to eat noodles with ‘you have reduced me to this’ written underneath it.
I’d like to say it was the 13-hour van journey that had made me so mad and angry, but when I woke up the next day I was still livid. Luckily we didn’t have time for me to go and vent my frustration as we had another 13-hour drive ahead of us.
If there is a lesson to be learnt from this it's dont make me hungry, you wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.