A BRIEF RECAP

I was intending to write everyday about all the spectacular fun stuff that happens on tour. Unfortunately though my Laptop got broken in Newcastle and my back stopped working in Amsterdam so here is a brief recap of what I can remember in no particular order.

NEWCASTLE

We played in the same venue as Calvin Harris, he played in the much bigger room. Im not sure what he looks like but I think I mistook him for venue staff and asked him to direct me to the ham and cheese or 'CHAM' as Ian calls it. Inspired by Calvin Harris' hit 'Acceptable In The 80s' Jasper wrote 'Acceptable In The 30's'

Big Game Hunting...It Was Acceptable In The Thirties
Domestic Violence....It Was Acceptable In The Thirties
Colonialism.....It Was Acceptable In The Thirties

I should point out that Jasper doesn't want these things to comeback, he just likes singing about them. Actually I think he would like to bring back Big Game Hunting he is always talking about how he'd like to 'try' Elephant.

INNSBRUCK

We had a day off in Innsbruck. I went to an Alpine Zoo with my girlfriend we saw an Otter and decided he was called Ray, Ray The Otter. When we left he had gone back in his house so we couldn't say goodbye. It was a shame, a shame about Ray.

Later on The Rock And Roll Idiots, Official Secrets Act and Keith TOTP & His Minor UK All Star Indie Celebrity Backing Band played at Weekender Club. It was one of the best shows I've ever seen. Although I played Bass for Keith and joined in with The Rock And Roll Idiots on their third time of playing 'Love Is Lethal' so might be a bit biased. Officials Secrets Act are our support on this tour and are brilliant every night. Younger, more handsome and far more talented than us. We wont tour with them again.

AMSTERDAM

Is where my back problems really began I was bent double, triple if that is even possible. I was the Hunchback of Amsterdam. I was worried for a bit that something was seriously wrong with me and had to go and see a Doctor who gave me loads of Valium and told me to rest. To explain why I wasn't jumping about and dancing as much on the tour we rewrote Modern Art adding a verse to explain how I did my back dancing to a painting of Paris in the Van Gogh museum. Depending on how soon I get completely better we may still be doing that in New York.

STUTTGART, BERLIN, COLOGNE.

I saw a masseuse, a chiropractor and a physiotherapist one in each of these places. They were all very nice. The masseuse was the first one I saw he worked on my muscles for ages, made me take a sauna,then put me in a figure for leg lock until I screamed and then told me to stop walking like an old man. This genuinely helped. I saw the physiotherapist second. She jiggled me around on a giant inflatable ball,this also helped. Lastly I saw the chiropractor she noticed that I had a rib in the wrong place and popped it back in for me,I think that helped the most. She also gave me exercises to do. So now Im fully on the mend.

I Cologne I was taken to a comic book shop to do an interview about comics, even though I was in agonizing pain. It was for the radio and he barely mentioned the fact I was in a comic shop so really it could have been done anywhere. Although I bought a copy of The Fantastic Four/Superman crossover (in English) and saw a German edition of the Booster Gold paperback so it was worth it.

In Berlin I bought a Robot that comes from 'Out Of Space' his name is Steve.

In Cologne we played with The Blood Arm. Their new songs are AMAZING.

BERN

We spent two days in Bern. Ian and I bought matching orange swimming shorts and black wife beaters. Taking casual to a whole new level. In Bern there is a very cold, very fast river that your allowed to jump into. I wasn't allowed in because of my back. Mike, Jasper and Jimmy our friend who is a Guitar Tech and a Pirate jumped in drunk at 7am long after the Lido, which is where you climb out, had been locked for the night. As they climbed out a security guard ran over and asked if they'd been in the river,shamefaced they said yes expecting a bollocking. Instead the guard just looked at them amazed and said 'respect' then let them out.

On the river there is a big sign saying last exit 240m (the 'm' is for meters not miles) after that I presume there is a big net full of drowned tourists.

TONIGHT

We are in Paris with Official Secrets Act. Its their last night I'm going to miss them. Then home for a day before zooming off to PRIMAVERA and GERMANY. Then we begin our week long residencies over in the states.

NEW YORK

CHICAGO

LA

as well as shows in PHILADELPHIA, SEATTLE and SAN FRANCISCO

I wonder how hard it is to take an 'Out Of Space Robot' through customs.