Blog.

I am back in LA. I was only away for a week. It really is a lot like I live here. Although if you're a US customs official reading this I should point out that I don't ACTUALLY live here. I am just here a lot visiting.

I first realised it is "a lot like I live here" about six or seven months ago. I had been traveling around on the trains and buses all day and had for the first time actually known where I'd been going. I came home put on a pair of slippers I'd bought the day before, did the washing up and collapsed exhausted on the sofa. That felt an awful lot like I live here. Although I don't really ever do the washing up at my actual home in London.

It really felt like I live here this time though as the Tivo had taped things for me watch in the week I'd been away.

I dont watch much telly. I watch House, Dr Who, The Soup and 30 Rock and I am made to watch America's Next Top Model and Top Chef. I do secretly enjoy watching both of those shows though, Top Chef because it's brilliant and America's Next Top Model because it's populated by fucking idiots that are entertaining to watch bumbling about.

Looking back at that it does look like I watch loads of television, especially as I've just remembered I watch Gossip Girl too. I watch television in the morning here whilst I eat my breakfast. I had not been away long enough for there to be anything for me to watch this time though. So unfortunately I watched an SNL.

I'm thinking of trying to turn the letters SNL into a slang adjective meaning inconsistent.

Q."How was that band you saw last night?"

A."They were a bit SNL."

It literally means "The first song was alright,they were on fire in the middle for about ten minutes and the last song was a disappointing, self congratulatory, anti climax."

Q."How was that meal you went for last week at that new restaraunt?"

A."It was a bit SNL."

Meaning "The starter was quite nice and seemingly cooked by a different Chef. The Main Course was partially satisfying and the Dessert tasted like a bland middle of the road rubbish band."

Alright maybe it doesn't completely stand up but you get the point.

I watched the Ben Affleck one. It wasn't funny once. Even making the inconsistency of the episodes inconsistent.

SNL is definitely a byword for inconsistent. Let's all start using it today.

I'll start the trend right now by apologising that my blogging is a bit SNL.