Monday, 10 November 2008


I have some confessions to make.

I admit,unfortunately, that I am THAT man who stands behind you at the cash machine rolling his eyes if you DARE do anything other than take money out.

I  am confessing now that on  Saturdays in Camden when they shut the escalators down to the tube and ask people to use the stairs that every Saturday I come very close to pushing everybody down those stairs and then stomping across their stupid slow moving bodies as I run victoriously towards the train.

There is a facebook group called "I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head".I don't belive that group goes far enough.I want to chase after slow walking people swinging a hammer.

There is more to admit but basically what Im trying to say is I'm a very impatient man.With very  little time and too much to do.In that respect I am a lot like Ringo Starr

So I should love the fact that I have one of THESE in my kitchen.

It speeds up the tea making process by always having hot water ready.

I didnt trust it at first.I am not a fan of strange new technology.

I have however recently started using it as we no longer have a real kettle and boiling water on the stove takes far too long.

Consequently I've come to realise that I like to wait for the kettle to boil.I enjoy the race of trying to get the milk and sugar ready before the kettle clicks off, I enjoy reading half a page of the Guardian stood in the kitchen whilst the kettle does its job and I really enjoy having the choice to pour the water before its boiled as it gives me the satisfied feeling that I have saved some time.

Everybody knows that 70% of the fun in going out dancing is the getting ready.I think with making tea it is about the same ratio.If not more so.

I am writing this Blog to keep myself awake till a reasonably late time so I can hopefully sleep through the night.I didnt sleep at all last night and tried to get up at 8am anyway to "power through".It didnt work.Even though I sat in the front room far away from my bed  so as not too tempt myself with a few useless hours sleep.I woke up at 1.30pm on my bedroom floor with no idea how I got there I must have sleep walked.I genuinely have no memory of coming to my room so if you saw me acting nefariously between about 9am and 1.30pm I wasn't in control of my actions,and I'm sorry.

I think my maverick approach to punctuation, spelling and grammar are at an all new low today, because of my sleep deprevation so apologies.

If your a purist for that kind of thing lets just pretend this is a poem.

Good Night


Adam said...

I do the cash machine thing too! I don't like the people in front of me. I also don't like it when there are three cash machines in a wall and only one queue. You inevitably get a queue jumper and rightly so. 3 machines = 3 queues...right?

a bleeding heart gathers no sympathy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
a bleeding heart gathers no sympathy said...
that's you.

Anonymous said...

Well,I looked at the Tefal Quick Cup on your link,and thought that £54.99 was alot of money to pay for a speedier cup of tea,but its a good idea!
As for slow walking people,I agree with you,you should come to Hounslow to see a few of those..

Good Blog,Eddie-I enjoyed reading it.
More please!

SF said...

No, no, no adam! It's the classic simple one-into-three queue feeding system that makes so much more sense: everyone gets served in the order they arrived at the queue. No quandary over having to try and judge by the look of their faces which people want to check their balance and pay in a cheque, and which just want to take a tenner out and flee. It sucks when people abuse the one-into-three format, but you get to feel superior for being better at queuing.

& nice poem.


The three person que is especially annoying when you see everybody que-ing at the middle machine and join the que presuming the machines on the left and right are both broken....and then someone runs up and uses one of them.

Its even worse if you go up to the remaining cash machine and that one is actually broken.

Having to rejoin the original que at the back is time consuming and embarressing.

Ive thought too much about this.

I hate the hot water machine in my kitchen.