Monday, 30 November 2009


Tracklisting :

1. Creeque Allies

Response to “Creeque Alley” by the Mamas and the Papas

“Creeque Alley” by the Mamas and the Papas is the story of the late sixties West Coast folk scene and the formation of their own band in the midst of it. “Creeque Allies” is the story of the early forties French resistance scene and the formation of the freedom fighters who eventually drove the Nazis out of

2. G.I.R.L.F.R.E.N (You Know I’ve Got A)

Response to “Girlfriend” made famous by Avril Lavigne

Pop songs have traditionally been “boy meets girl,” “girl meets boy,” “boy/girl overcome a problem,” or “boy/girl break up” – in the last decade or so, there has been an alarming new archetype in pop songwriting: “girl steals other girl’s boyfriend.” This is a divisive message to send to young girls everywhere, and songs like “Girlfriend” (see also “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift) only teach young women that they can derive more worth and status from stealing each others’ boyfriends than they can from realizing their own achievements.

3. (I’m So) Waldo P. Emerson Jones

Response to “Waldo P. Emerson Jones” made famous by the Archies

The Archies can’t figure out Waldo P. Emerson Jones, a new character on the block who impresses all of their girlfriends and generally shows everyone up. The Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! version tells Waldo’s side – he was a little-known “nerd” at their school who spent the summer reinventing himself and came back with added confidence, a new haircut and a much cooler name (Waldo P. Emerson Jones is clearly not the name his mother gave him).

4. The
Scarborough Affaire

Response to “Scarborough Fair,” traditional

The singer of the 17th-century ballad “Scarborough Fair” instructs the listener to locate his former lover and charge her with a series of impossible tasks. The Everybody Was In The French Resistance…Now response takes his unreasonable demands to their logical conclusion.

5. Billie’s Genes

Response to “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson

The kid is your son.

6. Think Twice (It’s Not Alright)

Response to “Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright” by Bob Dylan

Breaking up is hard. Not everyone can be as tough as Bob Dylan, who claims that he needs to “travel on” when his lover wastes his “precious time.” Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! have read between the lines, and have rewritten the song based on how Bob Dylan most likely actually felt when he bid “fare thee well.”

7. Hey! It’s Jimmy Mack

Response to “Jimmy Mack” made famous by Martha Reeves and the Vendellas

Jimmy Mack heard Martha’s song. So he’s never coming back.

8. He’s a “Rebel”

Response to “He’s A Rebel” made famous by the

Crystals sang a love song to “dangerous” men. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! opened up the conversation to other men, who see through the “rebel” schtick and argue that it’s all just an act.

9. Coal Digger

Response to “Gold Digger” by Kanye West

Kanye West patronizes the chip-shop janitor who is working his way towards cooking the fries. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! know that the janitor is just working to make ends meet until he gets his shit together and releases a hit record.

10. My Way (Is Not Always the
Best Way)

Response to “My Way” made famous by Frank Sinatra

Paul Anka admires a selfish man’s death-bed declaration that living his life according to his own convictions and desires alone is enough. Everybody Was In The French Resistance … Now! think that one should take others’ opinions into consideration.

11. Superglue

Response to “Vaseline” by Elastica

If Elastica had used superglue instead of vaseline (or for that matter, heroin) maybe they would have stuck together.

12. Walk Alone

Response to “You’ll Never Walk Alone” made famous by Gerry and the Pacemakers

Gerry and the Pacemakers (and all of
Liverpool) are terrified of being alone. Everybody Was In The French Resistance… Now are comfortable with their own company.

Fixin’ the Charts, Volume One (COOKCD512) is a companion piece to all of these pop songs, but can be appreciated as a work in its own right. Pop music transmits all of our culture’s most valued ideals from one generation to the next; let’s make sure we get it right. Vive le Resistance!

Friday, 6 November 2009

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now

Just the facts.

This is the front cover.
The original photo was taken by Alfonso Valdes and turned into the cover artwork by Andrew Swainson

This is the Track listing

1) Creeque Allies
2) G.I.R.L.F.R.E.N (You Know I've Got A)
3) (I'm So) Waldo P Emerson Jones
4) The Scarborough Affaire
5) Billie's Genes
6) Think Twice (It's Not Alright)
7) Hey Its Jimmy Mack
8) He's A "Rebel"
9) Coal Digger
10) My Way (Is Not Always The Best Way)
11) Superglue
12) Walk Alone

Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now are Dyan Valdes and Eddie Argos.

The album is called 'Fixin' The Charts' and was produced by David Newton at his studio 'Rollercoaster East' in Joshua Tree California.

It is out in January on Cooking Vinyl.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Whoops got a bit behind.

I was intending on writing a blog every day for every show.

Then it was my birthday, then I got busy sorting out some Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now stuff, then I had some song ideas I wanted to work on, then the days I hadn't written about started adding up and the task looked insurmountable, then the dog ate it etc.

Here are some of the days I've missed so I can start slowly catching up. It was ages ago though and anything amusing that might have happened has long been forgotten. Im just writing them because I promised myself I would.


We played at a place called Club Congress. It is the place where John Dillinger had his last stand against the local police. It is also a hotel. The hotel is pretty old by American standards and they try to keep it in that style. There are no televisions in the rooms and all the furniture and fittings are from the 30's (I think). Although it is an old building for America, it looked, in a good way, like the first bedsit I lived in when I left home.

The show was fun it was all ages so they put a rope down the middle of the room. It was one side for over 21 drinkers, the other for under 21's not drinking. I enjoyed aiming specific songs at specific sides of the room. Legally drinking and the age of consent in Arizona are both 21+ so most of our songs went over the heads of the under 21's who have definitely not had sex or drunk any booze. They seemed to enjoy the show anyway.

San Diego

San Diego was fun. We played the Casbah one of my favourite venues in America. I twittered about the show and quite a few people told us to 'Rock The Casbah'. This reminded me of a game my brother invented in which when at an indie disco with Jasper you request that the DJ plays 'Rock The Casbah' by The Clash. Once it starts playing you change the words to 'Rock The Jasper' and rock Jasper from side to side against his will. You can also change the words 'Sharia Dont Like It' to 'He Really Dont Like It' so the song becomes 'He Really Don't Like It/Rock The Jasper/Rock The Jasper'. He really doesn't like it, which makes it even funnier.

My friend Ben Lee has just moved to San Diego. I can see why. Everybody we met was really friendly. I was hanging out with the band that supported us Northern Towns and some of their friends from other hardcore bands afterwards and they were so nice I briefly thought about moving there myself.


All I can really remember about Pomona is that one of the support bands covered the theme music from Ghostbusters which was quite funny as they were one of those sort of Killers-y bands and it was unexpected. It would have been funnier though if they had followed it up by immediately covering the theme music from Ghostbusters 2.

I spent most the day in Pomona reading Colin Meloy from the Decemberists 33 1/3 book about the Replacements album 'Let It Be'. The book is a lot more about Colin Meloy growing up than it is about the Replacements. I still really enjoyed it though, the album is clearly a very personal record for him. It made me wish I had owned 'Let It Be' when I was growing up. I think it would have helped.

I wonder how you go about writing those 33 1/3 books. I would like Paul Guided Missile to write one about The Yummy Fur's album Sexy World. Well I'd like to write it myself but he's probably far more qualified.