HO HO HO

The Glam Chops single "Countdown To Christmas" and its B-Side "Baby Jesus Was The First Glam Rocker" are now available for FREE from the blog section  of The Glam Chops Myspace 

Merry Christmas.

HO HO HO

I got a phone call late on Friday asking me to dress up like Father Christmas for the Panther Girls while they danced to The Glam Chops song "Countdown To Christmas".

It was for some internet telly thing. They were on after Natty who sung a brilliant song  about Barrack Obama.

All the other artists were MC's or DJ's and despite being a rapper myself I think the Glam Chops track was radically different from all the other artists playing.Im excited to see how the programme turns out.

Glam Chops Single "Countdown To Christmas" is free from our Myspace tomorrow.

Frank Black Is Producing The New Art Brut Album

Im glad that it was finally in the NME that we're recording with Frank Black. I don't know why we were keeping it a secret. I'm rubbish with secrets. I was thinking about trying to put anybody off that asked me out right if  the Pixies legend Frank Black was producing our next album by telling them that they must have mis-heard and in fact the legendary Pixie Geldof was. Im glad I didnt have to stoop that low to hide our secret.

We've written about Twenty Songs. We've been playing quite a few of them live; Alcoholics Unanimous, Summer Job, Art Brut Versus Satan, Rebellious Henchman, Moved To LA and DC Comics And Chocolate Milkshake. I cant wait to start recording.

We leave for Oregon on Thursday. Hooray.

My New Favourite Bands

I did an interview the other week with the NME about my favourite new bands. I was really hung over.It was the day after we'd played in Glasgow (the booziest place in the world).My mind was completely blank.The only new band I could remember that I loved was Lets Wrestle. Who I do think are brilliant but aren't really that new. I think Lets Wrestle along with The Indelicates have been my favourite new band for the last couple of years now.

So to set the record straight. Of the new bands I saw live this year I really liked The Franks

I love Ezra Furman and The Harpoons album 

I think The Soft Packs are amazing

and Violet Violet are my favourite new band and its not just because they wrote THIS.

COUNTDOWN TO COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS

Glam Chops Christmas Single In The Grauniad

More about the Christmas single HERE

Blog.

I am back in LA. I was only away for a week. It really is a lot like I live here. Although if you're a US customs official reading this I should point out that I don't ACTUALLY live here. I am just here a lot visiting.

I first realised it is "a lot like I live here" about six or seven months ago. I had been traveling around on the trains and buses all day and had for the first time actually known where I'd been going. I came home put on a pair of slippers I'd bought the day before, did the washing up and collapsed exhausted on the sofa. That felt an awful lot like I live here. Although I don't really ever do the washing up at my actual home in London.

It really felt like I live here this time though as the Tivo had taped things for me watch in the week I'd been away.

I dont watch much telly. I watch House, Dr Who, The Soup and 30 Rock and I am made to watch America's Next Top Model and Top Chef. I do secretly enjoy watching both of those shows though, Top Chef because it's brilliant and America's Next Top Model because it's populated by fucking idiots that are entertaining to watch bumbling about.

Looking back at that it does look like I watch loads of television, especially as I've just remembered I watch Gossip Girl too. I watch television in the morning here whilst I eat my breakfast. I had not been away long enough for there to be anything for me to watch this time though. So unfortunately I watched an SNL.

I'm thinking of trying to turn the letters SNL into a slang adjective meaning inconsistent.

Q."How was that band you saw last night?"

A."They were a bit SNL."

It literally means "The first song was alright,they were on fire in the middle for about ten minutes and the last song was a disappointing, self congratulatory, anti climax."

Q."How was that meal you went for last week at that new restaraunt?"

A."It was a bit SNL."

Meaning "The starter was quite nice and seemingly cooked by a different Chef. The Main Course was partially satisfying and the Dessert tasted like a bland middle of the road rubbish band."

Alright maybe it doesn't completely stand up but you get the point.

I watched the Ben Affleck one. It wasn't funny once. Even making the inconsistency of the episodes inconsistent.

SNL is definitely a byword for inconsistent. Let's all start using it today.

I'll start the trend right now by apologising that my blogging is a bit SNL.

Blog.

Well my intention of writing everyday fell at the first hurdle.I dont know how Richard Herring does it.

I've been listening to a lot of Richard Herring recently. I downloaded all of his and Andrew Collins Podcasts to entertain me as I flew backwards and forwards across the Atlantic.

I love their Podcast.It is just the two of them rambling into garage band in Richard's attic.Sometimes it can be a bit rubbish but not for long and I think that adds to the charm.

I've been a fan of both of theirs for a while.

When Andrew Collins was on 6 music he used to do the round table.I was on once when he was hosting. He is a lovely man and I miss listening to him on 6 music.

Richard Herring has a book called the Talking Cock about penises.I answered some of his early questionnaires about penises and some of my answers are in the book (anonymously of course).Ive been a fan of his since Fist Of Fun in the early Nineties and recently saw the warm ups for his show The Headmasters Son. In my opinion the best thing he's ever done.I recommend you go and see it.

THE CREDIBILTY CRUNCH

The NME have the news on the free glam chops single HERE



Ho.Ho.Ho

AN ODE TO IMPATIENCE

I have some confessions to make.

I admit,unfortunately, that I am THAT man who stands behind you at the cash machine rolling his eyes if you DARE do anything other than take money out.

I  am confessing now that on  Saturdays in Camden when they shut the escalators down to the tube and ask people to use the stairs that every Saturday I come very close to pushing everybody down those stairs and then stomping across their stupid slow moving bodies as I run victoriously towards the train.

There is a facebook group called "I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head".I don't belive that group goes far enough.I want to chase after slow walking people swinging a hammer.

There is more to admit but basically what Im trying to say is I'm a very impatient man.With very  little time and too much to do.In that respect I am a lot like Ringo Starr

So I should love the fact that I have one of THESE in my kitchen.

It speeds up the tea making process by always having hot water ready.

I didnt trust it at first.I am not a fan of strange new technology.

I have however recently started using it as we no longer have a real kettle and boiling water on the stove takes far too long.

Consequently I've come to realise that I like to wait for the kettle to boil.I enjoy the race of trying to get the milk and sugar ready before the kettle clicks off, I enjoy reading half a page of the Guardian stood in the kitchen whilst the kettle does its job and I really enjoy having the choice to pour the water before its boiled as it gives me the satisfied feeling that I have saved some time.

Everybody knows that 70% of the fun in going out dancing is the getting ready.I think with making tea it is about the same ratio.If not more so.

I am writing this Blog to keep myself awake till a reasonably late time so I can hopefully sleep through the night.I didnt sleep at all last night and tried to get up at 8am anyway to "power through".It didnt work.Even though I sat in the front room far away from my bed  so as not too tempt myself with a few useless hours sleep.I woke up at 1.30pm on my bedroom floor with no idea how I got there I must have sleep walked.I genuinely have no memory of coming to my room so if you saw me acting nefariously between about 9am and 1.30pm I wasn't in control of my actions,and I'm sorry.

I think my maverick approach to punctuation, spelling and grammar are at an all new low today, because of my sleep deprevation so apologies.

If your a purist for that kind of thing lets just pretend this is a poem.

Good Night

JET LAGGED

I got back to the UK yesterday from visiting my girlfriend in LA.

Im very very jet lagged.I did manage to stay awake till one AM though hoping I'd manage to sleep all through the night.I didnt I woke up at about three thirty and have been lying here awake ever since.

Whenever I have trouble sleeping it normally comes accompanied with a song going around and around loudly in my head.Is this normal?

This time it's "Fuck The Creditors" a song I watched The Blood Arm record for their new record when I was in LA last week.I've not been able to stop singing the chorus over and over again in my head all night and its loud enough to wake me each time I'm about to fall asleep.

I accidently sung part of the chorus aloud in Somerfield yesterday when i was queing to buy my dinner.The chorus goes "fuck the creditors,they get what they deserve" I think the old lady in the que behind me thoroughly agreed.

Its a very good song.I just wish I could sleep

BIFF! BANG! POW!

Not a Pow! To The People but an interview I did about comics can be found HERE

BIFF! BANG! NECRO-DELIC!

The Necrodelic Gerad Way writes ace comics.

Ive written a new Pow! To The People it is HERE