Saturday, 17 November 2012

Fun Sized Paintings.

Hello. Christmas is coming (well it's about a month away) and I've decided to make some stocking sized paintings again.

I've made smaller versions of Formed A Band

and Abstract Expressionism Is A Mess.

They are in acrylic paint on 18 x 24 cm Canvas and cost £35 including postage to anywhere in the world.

If you would like to buy one email me at

You can also still buy the original sized paintings from my shop which is HERE or if you would like a smaller version of something you see there I can probably do that too.

Some of THESE THINGS are also still for sale.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Friday, 28 September 2012

Fade To Grey.

I hate any music that is not guitar music. Or at least I thought that was how I felt.

Apparently my flatmate Mark has been sneaking into my room when I'm asleep and playing me minimal wave and electropop from the time period 1978 - 1984.

Turns out I now love it. So much in fact that we have decided to start a club night to share his AWESOME record collection with you. The launch night is Tuesday 2nd at Dazzle Danzclub on Danziger Strasse. Come and get drunk with us. It is €5 entry. Whoop!

Mark's radio shows are HERE if you want to have a listen.

and here is the AWESOME poster.

Pull Out Posters Are Fucking Awesome.

Pull Out Posters Fucking Rule!
Remember pull out posters? Perhaps the NME still has them I'm not sure I haven't read it in so long..
Anyway if I had a magazine -which at the present time I unfortunately do not- I would fill the middle of the magazine with pull out posters to save me having to write anything on those pages. However my pullout posters would not be of scowling boys holding guitars that is boring and has been done to death my posters would have thinly veiled threats on them and probably a lot of swearing.

In fact I have decided that I am not going to let the fact I don't have a magazine deter me from releasing a pull out poster. I am going to release the first pull out poster by itself, sans magazine. You can use your imagination to figure just out how awesome the actual magazine would be if it existed. You can even make up the name.

My first pull out poster is taken from my very popular painting 'Death To Everything That Is Not Guitar Music' the camera did a weird thing when I took the photo and made this rather nice collage effect.
It is on A3 glossy paper and will be folded in half with staple holes in the middle. It will also be signed by me and numbered as Pull Out Poster From Hypothetical Magazine.

If you are interested in buying a poster from a hypothetical magazine you can email me at

They are 10 pounds ( a lot of which is postage) to anywhere in the world or 6 Euros from  any Lo Fi Punk Rock Mother Fuckers show.

Also if you would just like it as a poster (its on good quality paper) I can write 'I have no imagination and don't like the idea of a hypothetical magazine' on it roll it up carefully and send it to you in a tube for £12 (including postage)
(if you would like some swearing on it, I can probably add the word fuck with a pen too)

Friday, 17 August 2012

Death To Everything That Is Not Guitar Music.

What happened to having musical genres? People nowadays seem content to say they like all kinds of music. It's fashionable to have a broad musical taste. I say FUCK THAT BULLSHIT. I didn't spend my adolescence getting beaten up for not liking dance and chart music to suddenly concede when I reached my thirties.

I only like guitar music and everybody who disagrees with me is a cunt. This is the way I felt then and I'm sticking to it now.

I've made this adorable painting to hammer my point home. In fact I have individually hand made and numbered 20 of them. They are in acrylic on a canvas that is 18 x 24cm and cost £30 each including postage.

You can email me at if you are interested in buying one.

or you can press this paypal button

Death To Everything (Except Guitar Music) is also the name of a song by my new side project Eddie Argos and The Lo Fi Punk Rock Motherfuckers.

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Another Painting For Sale

Hello. Im still clearing out my house for the move.

I also have this painting for sale it is one of my song paintings. It's a painting of the song 'Moved To LA' which was a bonus itunes track with Art Brut VS Satan.

You can hear the song  HERE

and read what I wrote about it at the time HERE

I made three smaller replicas way back in 2009. This is the larger original with my old address on it.

It's £230 for both the canvases including postage and you can email me at if you would like it.

I still have some of THESE things for sale

and my shop is HERE

Sorry the catalogue pose is not as good as last time. I'm not dancing in that photo I'm in the process of falling over.

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Some things for sale.

Hello. I've barely used this blog recently. I've been writing a book. I've very nearly finished the first draft. It feels pretty good.

Anyway I'm moving house so I thought I'd come here and try and sell some things so I don't have to move them.

First of all I have this bloody massive painting called Abstract Expressionism Is Harder Than It Looks (Lots Of Fun Though) it costs 350 Euro and should probably go to some one in Berlin or nearby as the shipping will be loads. If you live in Berlin I can drop it off round your house providing you give me a cup of tea for my trouble when I get there.

If you like the painting but live miles away I can make a version that is a more reasonable size (16" x 18") and post it to you for £67.50 (including P&P) in the abstract expressionist colours of your choice.

I also have other paintings for sale HERE

Secondly. I'm not sure if you remember my woefully under appreciated concept pop band Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now.

Well I have a box of Merch in my house.

I have one of the white t-shirts (Large)

Some of the green ones  (Large, Medium)

and a few of the CDs.

Everything will come with a signed Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now poster that looks like this (but with a signature on it)

For the T-Shirts it is £22.50 and for the CD's £15.50 (including Postage)

If you are interested in buying any of these things you can email me at

(I apologise that I am posing like a catalogue model in some of those photos)

Monday, 13 February 2012

Psychotic Reaction Set List.

Last Thursday I DJ-ed with my friends Nathaniel, Joel and Dyan at a club called Psychotic Reaction. We all played awesome songs but it was not very busy. I've recreated my set-list here so you can all dance to the songs now in your respective houses. These are just the songs I played. I can't remember what Nathaniel and Joel were playing as I was too busy getting drunk, dancing and enjoying myself during their fantastic set.

This is the set

Ride Your Horse by The Galaxies And The Regulars
Down In Mexico by The Coasters
The James Brown by The Henchmen
Scrooey Mooey by The Peels

Reincarnation by Kim Fowley

Cowboys Are Square by The Headcoats
Cool Britannia by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
Psychedelic Siren by The Daybreakers
Number One by The Ruttles
Big Bird by Eddie Floyd
How Is The Air Up There? by La De Das

Hey Baby by The Bristols
First Cut Is The Deepest by The Koobas

My Dear Watson By The Headcoats
Dirty Water by The Standells
So What by The Lyrics
Ca PlainePour Moi by The Headcoatees

Strychnine by The Sonics
Farmer John by The Premires
For God Sake Give More Power To The People by The Chi-Lites
Twenty Flight Rock by Eddie Cochran
Five Years Ahead Of My Time by Third Bardot
Der Feuerestuhl by Die Grazy Girls

The Clapping Song by Shirley Ellis
Fight Fire By The Golliwogs
Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Robert Hazzard

Highway 61 Revisited By Bob Dylan
When Will We be Paid For The Work We've Done - The Staple Singers

It wasn't quite in that order (I was drunk so I can't remember) We definitely ended with When Will We Be Paid... though.

Monday, 23 January 2012

January Sales.

If you are looking for something to spend your Argos vouchers on now Christmas is over. I still have some paintings left for sale.

I have two Clever Clever Jazz paintings left (19 and 20)

And a few Sealandscapes left

All the paintings are in acrylic on 5" x 7" canvas. There were 20 of each made and are numbered. They are not on sale and I don't accept Argos vouchers. They are £25 each (including postage to anywhere in the world)

Email me at if you are interested.