Wednesday 29 May 2019

Delivering Painting By Adventure Part 2.

I can't believe it has taken me so long to write up the second part of my first delivering paintings by adventure story. Especially as both adventures, this one and the one I did next, are two of my favourite things I've ever done. The first was nearly two years ago now luckily I can still remember it. If you need a refresher though HERE is part one.

Anyway, where was I..

So.. I'd flown across the Atlantic to make a painting for two complete strangers, and to officiate their wedding renewal ceremony. I was full of excitement and a little nervous. I was going to a very remote house in the middle of nowhere. I'd already been on a train that slowly rolled past places with seemingly made up names like Hicksville and got into a car with a stranger and now I was very far away from anybody I knew, in an area with no phone signal. I was surprisingly unafraid though, my enthusiasm for adventure far outweighed my fear of being sacrificed on a fire to the gods of Long Island (Twisted Sister) or of being beaten up by a bunch of disgruntled Bloc Party fans who had pooled their money to get me on my own for an attack.

In fact I was not afraid at all, Erik's Mum, the stranger who had driven me the last part of the journey, seemed incredibly nice, Dayna who had also been in the car was also brilliant company, and when we arrived the booze I was helping carry into the house was of the very highest quality. I mean this could be a very convincing fa├žade, but I was almost a hundred percent certain these strangers were not going to beat me up or kill me.

That was until two things happened simultaneously. The first thing was my phone suddenly started to work and texts from Ian Catskilkin came through asking if I was alright or if I'd been trapped in or some sort of Alan Partridge scenario, this suddenly put me on edge. The second thing that  happened - as I was reading these texts - was they asked me to carry some wine down into the cellar. Quite a dark scary looking cellar

If they are going to do something terrible to me this is the moment I thought as I headed down some old wooden stairs into the dark, worrying about the sound of the door shutting behind me.

I needn't have been afraid though, of course nothing terrible happened to me, in fact the exact opposite happened. Non terrible loads of amazing brilliant things happened to me.

I feel I should also clarify I was never really that scared anything bad was going to happen either, I just wanted some dramatic tension in my story. After the first couple of emails between me and Erik who was organising the event I went to follow him on Twitter and saw that I already did, I also followed most of the other people that were invited too and soon realised that pretty much everybody involved was an awesome dude that I sort of  knew from back when Art Brut used to play in NY every couple of months.

I emerged from the cellar safe, I was not beaten up for mean things I'd said in the past about Bloc Party, but was instead treated to an incredible Vegan lasagne and some delicious booze.

That makes it sound a bit like they were rewarding me for being mean to Bloc Party when they were in fact just very good hosts. I have no idea about their feelings on Bloc Party. Bloc Party has nothing to do with this story. I should probably stop making jokes about a brief fracas that happend 15 years ago.

I'd only really known these people an hour and they already felt like great friends, I was sat at the table, already having an amazing time and again I was overwhelmed that art had brought me here all the way across the Atlantic to this amazing place (and delicious food).

Sitting there with Erik and Adrienne was great too. They had sent me information about each other for the speech I was going to make at their ceremony, and I'd spent so much time working on it that in my head they had (almost) become fictional characters. So to see right in front of my eyes how much they loved each other was really special.

Full of lasagne and booze and excitement for the next day, I went to bed.

The next day was the ceremony. The house got busier and busier with more and more guests arriving. At parties I tend to be a bit shyer than people expect, in the band I am all extrovert and jumping around but  I can be a little introverted and shy when there isn't a microphone in my hand. It has always frustrated me that I can be like that, but this trip taught me the best way to deal with my occasional shyness and that is to be always making a huge painting in the corner of the room.

I had set my self up at the back of the main living room in the house and started to paint just after breakfast. All day long people came up to me and said hello. It is impossible to be introverted when you are making a great big piece of abstract expressionism at a party because everybody wants to come and say hello to you. I got to meet everybody as they arrived and they were all awesome. Erik and Adrienne had definitely filled their life with brilliant people.

While the painting was drying, everybody gathered together and started the ceremony. This is where my memory fades a little bit. I know exactly what I said, I still have it, but I was so caught up in the event, and it felt so important that I do it right, that at the time I felt like I was hovering above proceedings watching a scene of two people very much in love renewing their wedding vows. Even thinking about it now it feels more like a great film I saw once than a real memory.

I definitely had tears in my eyes, but I think I managed to hide them. I am after all a lo fi Punk Rock Motherfucker, that can't be seen to be sentimental.

Part of my Adventure Delivery Service system is that I perform my spoken word show and also DJ.

By the time I got around to the spoken word part, I had been hanging out with everybody for ages, mainly talking about Billy Joel and how awesome he is for playing Madison square Gardens forever and also for driving his car into peoples houses on the way home. So when I perfomed my spoken word show it felt like I was talking to old friends as opposed to strangers, it was a very casual atmosphere that I loved. There were questions all the way through, especially from the Mums who were brilliant and hilarious. I feel like this might actually be the perfect way to perform my spoken word show, as an interactive after dinner speech. For the DJ-ing after just a little set from me, we were just sharing our favourite songs with each other like old friends with lots of love for The Monkees and more Billy Joel. Pretty much a perfect evening. Hooray.

The next day I had no plans, I thought I was just going to get dropped at the airport in the evening with a stinking hangover, but Adrianne and Erik had plans for me. They took me geocaching which I'd never heard of before but involved a walk along the beach and searching an old train for a secret compartment, we also saw jellyfish that light up when you touch them, talked A LOT about Magic The Gathering and went to a Camera Obscura, and on the way to the airport a vegan resteraunt where I had Cauliflower Buffalo wings, which are even nicer than real chicken wings and don't involve eating a chicken. I found a pretty good recipe when I got back to Berlin too its HERE if you want to try it. (recommended)

I've kept saying this but that last day really cemented it in my mind. I had made some proper really good friends for life. I was flattered that I'd been asked to be part of their ceremony and delighted at all the adventure I'd had and all of it was because of art, my adventure was fuelled by a painting. AMAZING.

Maybe it has taken me this long to write about it as that is the length of time it takes to get your head around something like that. A truly magical experience.

My second Painting delivery by adventure was just as great, and means I managed, via paintings, to twin New York with Derby. But that's a different story..

I no longer make this Abstract Expressionism painting. These were the last two. I still like delivering paintings by adventure though. If it is something you are interested in you can email me at

I will make a 100cm x 120cm Formed a Band painting at your house, place of work, doctors surgery, maternity ward, wherever you like, perform my spoken word show, and DJ for you all for £800 plus food (I'll eat whatever you eat) Drink (I'll drink whatever you drink) and somewhere to sleep (sofa is fine) as long as you pay the travel (budget airlines/Megabus is fine)

or  an adventure with this painting which I will bring with me (from my exhibition last year) 80cm x 60cm Acrylic on stretched canvas. for £650 (plus travel, food, sleep)

or a 70cm x 70cm of your favourite album. Email with the album and we'll work something out depending on what it is (Sgt Peppers will cost more then The White Album for example)

I have no problem with you charging people entry to the Spoken Word/DJ-ing. It might even be a good way to fund the transport of your very large painting.

I'm already looking forward to sleeping on your sofa.


Friday 7 December 2018

My favourite albums.

I've spent the last two years painting other peoples favourite albums. I've loved it. I'm still doing it, although at the moment I'm only making three at a time and then taking them out of my shop so I don't get totally swamped with orders like I did last year. There is space for two at the moment if you are after one and I would get on it fast if you are thinking of getting someone one as a Christmas Present.

You can get them HERE.

To keep me sane, in between listening to other peoples favourite  albums I painted some Art Brut albums,  I know those guys pretty well and so didn't have to have them on repeat while I made them (sometimes its nice to paint in silence)

There are some It's A Bit Complicated's HERE and some Art Brut VS Satan's HERE
They both come with a lyrics sheet of your favourite song from that album and are already made (apart from the lyric sheet) so will go straight in the post when you order them.

Now that most of the other peoples favourite albums are in the post, I've started making some of my favourite albums. I've done this in chronological order of when I bought them (ish) and started with the first band I fell in love with Pulp.

I was 15 when Common People came out and I think it was the first contemporary song I'd heard that felt like it was for me. I remember seeing it on Top Of The Pops and having my tiny teenage mind blown. I rather embarrassingly thought it was by Suede as I hadn't been paying attention to either what Suede sounded or looked like, I just knew one of them had a floppy fringe because my Dad liked them.

Anyway, once I realised who it was by,  I found the single in Woolworths but  couldn't find the album that it was from as that wasn't out till months later. So with  my paper round money I attempted  to seek out all the old Pulp albums I could find. I had no way of knowing what any of them would sound like, so I just bought the most recent ones I could find, guessing (correctly) that the ones released in the 90's would sound a lot more like the band I was curious about than the ones recorded in the early 80's

The first 'album' I bought was Intro, probably still my favourite Pulp album (or collection of Singles and B-Sides really) O.U might just be the best Pulp song, I fucking love it. I've just played it 5 times in a row. That whole album was perfect for me though as it scratched the itch of exactly what I was looking for at the time. Accessible pop music with an arty edge and great lyrics.

The second album I bought was Seperations (the secondhand shop I was buying my Pulp Cassettes in did not have His N Hers in it yet ) and I loved it. Countdown especially (actually maybe that is my favourite Pulp song) when I became a goth briefly a few years later this album stayed firmly on my CD player, it fitted in perfectly with that aesthetic too.

The third album I bought was His N Hers, I saved extra money to buy it new as I began to realise it would never turn up second hand. I liked it, not as much as Intro or Separations, but it made me feel mature and old and wise to hear all these songs about relationships and experiences that were just around the corner for me. (never stole a car to go to a reservoir, or hid in a wardrobe but you know what I mean) I went back to it after playing Different Class over and over though and ended up enjoying a it lot more and appreciating the nuance of it after being hit over the head with those pop bangers.

The Fourth was Different Class.

I loved this album straight away, of course I did it was the main event, the one I'd been waiting for. I didn't own a CD player so I was very jealous of my friends who had the changeable covers. Its hard to think about this album in any other way than it being the soundtrack to everything I got up to as a teenager. I carried it around everywhere with me, often changing whatever music was playing at parties to this. I hardly ever play it any more but that's probably because I don't need too. If  I think and reminisce hard enough I can hear it perfectly in my head.

Different Class and His N Hers have already been sold but you can buy Separations HERE and Intro HERE

and all other paintings. HERE

Tuesday 5 June 2018

Delivering Paintings By Adventure.Part One.

Last year I had the great idea of delivering paintings by adventure.

I put some very big paintings for sale at £850 each and offered to hand deliver them (with a performance of my spoken word show and some DJ-ing thrown in) all I asked was that you put me up for a night, fed me and paid my travel. I am in no way a Diva, I'm pretty easy going. I said I'd eat and drink whatever you are having and I can sleep on the sofa. The original blog is HERE.

I loved the idea, and I suppose writing the blog was more about me sharing that funny thought than actually expecting people to take me up on it. I mean I really wanted some adventure, but I was not sure of the likelihood.

So I was delighted when two different sets of people took me up on the offer. Both lead to two proper amazing adventures too. I have just not had a chance to write about them till now because I've spent every waking minute of the last year making paintings of peoples favourite album covers (with reviews).

The first exciting thing to happen was that the two different people tried to buy the same painting.

  'Abstract Expressionsim is harder than it looks.....a lot of fun though'.

This is one of my favourite ever paintings of mine and I'd actually promised myself that this actual painting was the last one of these I would ever make. (I've made quite a few smaller and medium sized paintings of this in the past)

However, I can not resist the call for adventure. I checked with the person who first asked for the painting  (and me delivering it),  if he minded that I was thinking of making another, and I checked with the people who had ordered second if they minded me making them a newer version of the same painting. Luckily everybody was cool, and I was all set for two adventures.

The second painting was actually the first adventure. A couple called Erik and Adrienne wanted me to fly to NEW YORK to officiate their 10 year wedding anniversary. OFFICIATE that sounded like I might need to learn a new profession. This was going to be a great adventure.

I decided the easiest way to transport the painting would be not to make a new one here, but instead, to buy the paint and canvas in America and make the painting there at their wedding vow renewal party.

So far, so amazing, I was flying to New York to OFFICIATE a wedding anniversary because of ART and a funny idea I had. BRILLIANT.

Leading up to the trip, so I could write a speech for the happy couple, they both independently emailed me little pieces of information about each other. I liked them both straight away. It was weird and lovely to get a glimpse into their relationship, and again I thought about how incredible it was that ART had led me to this intimate moment.

On the flight to New York I got very nervous that what I was doing was illegal, that I was intending to make a painting without a proper visa and was going to get caught. I got very paranoid that maybe the TSA read my blog, which in hindsight is a little vain, and that they were going to be waiting for me at the airport. I had visions of them putting me in handcuffs and sending me straight back where I came from. Unsurprisningly the TSA do not read my blog and everything went without a hitch. I got through all the customs stress with no problems  at all, ready to start my adventure

It will not come as a big surprise to some of you that I am not a very organised person. Eric and Adrienne had bought me the flights I needed to get to New York and sent me the tickets. That part of the journey was sorted, also now completed. I had also booked myself a hotel near a train station that seemed to be on the route to where I needed to go. It is a testament to the power of google maps that I manged to get anywhere near where I needed to be. Leaving the airport I realised I had no idea where to go or what I was doing. I just typed my hotel name and 'art shop' into my phone. Luckily we are living in the future and that is all I needed to do. I managed to get paint, canvas and to where I was supposed to be sleeping at the push of a few buttons. Preperation is for losers!

The next day, at the train station, as confident as I was that all the information in my phone was right, I still thought I had better check with the train people to be sure.

 The wedding anniversary was at a house in Greenport on Long Island.

Absolutely everybody I asked for train information refused to believe that Greenport is where I wanted to be going. Probably because I look a bit like an aging hipster and I was carrying a massive canvas and some paint they all said..

'Oh no, you're confused! You mean Greenpoint, you want to go to Greenpoint! Brooklyn! Not Long Island!'

 and then tried to steer me on to the wrong train

This was my first clue that where I was going was off the beaten track. I've been to New York lots and lots of times. During the period when Art Brut were busiest I was in New York more than I was at home. But I have only ever seen the city. In my head all of New York looks like Brooklyn or Manhattan so to be on a train going through places called  Yaphank, Mattituck and HICKSVILLE! was a little disorientating. As was the fact I was carrying a massive canvas and a bag full of paint to a place I couldn't even pronounce, Ronkonkoma, to get in a strangers car (Erik's Mum) to be given a lift to a wedding anniversary, where I was going to be making a painting and a speech and then officially watch over and lead a renewal ceremony for some people that I didn't really know. 


Did I make some amazing new friends? Or was I thrown on to a fire by a group of pagans chanting the lyrics to Uptown Girl?

I guess you already know the answer, but it is fun to end on a cliff hanger. See you tomorrow for PART 2.


I don't make the Abstract Expressionism painting any more, but if you would like a painting delivered by adventure. I am making Formed A Band Paintings (100cm x 120cm) on demand and would love to either make one and bring it to you, or make one at your house. They cost £850 and include me performing my spoken word show, DJ-ing and also if you need it me officiating your wedding vow renewal or similar.

I just need my travel paid for, a bit of food/drink and somewhere to sleep. The original blog is HERE.

I also do a smaller version that is blog is HERE

and you can contact me at

Thursday 21 December 2017

Other Peoples Favourite Album Adventure.

This is the time of year when people list what favourite new music they have discovered, I do it too sometimes. But this year I've hardly had any time to listen to any new music.

I mean I've heard the usual suspects The Indelicates, Fightmilk, Ezra Furman all great of course, and I made time for Go Kart Mozart and Peter Perrett (both also amazing) and discovered Idles (who I have found out about late but are also fantastic) but other than that I've been painting and listening to other peoples favourite albums.

I had no idea this project would take off as much as it has, I've painted over 100 favourite albums now (I sometimes forget to take photos of them if I'm in a rush so they aren't all on my Instagram) and reviewed them all. It has been a strange year, with every spare moment taken up listening to someone else's favourite music.

I've written some pretty harsh music critisism in the past. I thought I'd be doing that with this too enjoying some albums and tearing apart others, but when it came to it, I found I couldn't do it. It just didn't seem the right thing to do especially if the album was intended a gift for somebody

'Happy Birthday! I got Eddie Argos to paint your favourite album, he FUCKING DETESTED IT'


'Congratulations on getting married I got Eddie Argos to paint the music you fell in love to, he thinks you are both idiots for liking it and your taste in music sucks'

See not nice!

I didn't want to do anything like that, so actually what turned out to be the most fun thing about the project was finding something I liked about each album. Even Bloc Party.

Going in to each new album with the mind-set 'Hmm I wonder what I will find to enjoy about this' made it a lot more enjoyable. I managed to emphasis the positive with every album, which not only helped me discover I have a broader music taste than I believed, but also, without wanting to sound like a fucking new age  hippy, changed the way I see life.

It turns out, life, not just album paintings, is much more enjoyable if you enter every new challenge with the thought. 'Hmm, I wonder what I will find to enjoy about this' I have decided to make it my mantra. So thanks to the Other Peoples Favourite Album Project for that.

As well as gaining what was probably, for other people, a blindingly obvious insight into a good mantra to live your life by. I did also discover some fantastic music that I would not have stumbled across by myself. I was also surprised that the people who got involved had such broad taste in music. I was expecting it all to be Helen Love, Hefner and Half Man Half Biscuit albums.

The two favourite albums I have discovered from painting have been Wild Honey by The Beach Boys and A Date With Elvis by The Cramps.

I was dreading painting Wild Honey if I'm honest. It was a complicated looking one and I thought

'oh no I'm going to have to spend a week listening to over produced songs about sun tanned girls and surfing'

When actually its a perfect slice of bubble gum pop soul music. Its raw sounding, really funny in places and kind of sexy. None of those things were something I would have previously associated with The Beach Boys.

I was really looking forward to painting a Date With Elvis, as I knew a little about The Cramps from owning 'Best Ofs' and live albums. They were a band I knew I liked but had never really fully explored. I was delighted to find they were even filthier than I had been expecting with 'What's Inside A Girl?' and 'Can Your Pussy Do The Dog?' being particularly great examples. Loved it.

I also got to revisit a lot of albums I love like Midnite Vulture by Beck and Radiator by The Super Furry Animals, pretty much  every Pixies album and some Frank Black and The Catholics, as well as a few of my own favourite albums by Jonathan Richman, David Devant and Hist Spirit Wife and The Mountain Goats.

It was also interesting to see which albums got painted more than once, I painted two Meadowlands by The Wrens, Two Bang Bang Rock and Rolls by Art Brut, Two Frank Zappa's Hot Rats (another album I was not expecting to like but fell in love with), two Sgt Peppers by The Beatles and FIVE With Love and Squalors by We Are Scientists.

So if we are using this as a barometer of best albums ever (and I think we are) We Are Scientists win by three points. 

I've really enjoyed making everybody's favourite albums, It really has taken over my life for a year though. There are still a fair few out in the post at the moment plus a few more I still need to paint. So I'm sure I'll write another blog about it when I paint the last painting.

I'm going to take commissions till the end of the year. So if you would like your favourite album painted. I do them in two sizes and the link is HERE

Or if you want to buy someone a gift there is a link to a special voucher you can buy HERE

Thanks dudes! This has been fun.

Friday 17 November 2017

Lots and Lots of Paintings.

I've been making album paintings all year.

They look like this.

Super Furry Animals. Radiator.

And this.
Hole Live Through This.

I paint the album while listening to it and then write a little review.

I know people like to buy them for Christmas presents. So I thought I'd give you a heads up that if you are planning to do that you should get in early to make sure they arrive on time. Unlike Father Christmas I don't have lots of little elves. There is just me and my paints.

You can order those HERE

Some people don't know what their boyfriend/girlfriend/son/daughter/dog/cat/libriarian's favourite album is. So for those people I've made a voucher you can give them in the form of a card for their choice of favourite album. That they can then redeem it by emailing me and telling me what album they would like. I've added 4 pounds to the cost of the painting for postage of the voucher and the card.

You can order those HERE

I'm also making smaller Formed A Band paintings for a limited time in acrylic on Canvas board. 24cm x 18cm, numbered and signed those are £60

Both sizes of those are available HERE

And a few people have asked me if I can make these Transparent B Side paintings with other lyrics on them.

As it is getting close to Christmas, I've decided that I will. I can make you a transparent B Side painting with any lyric you choose on it, by anybody not just Art Brut as long as the lyric is not terrible (I decide what is terrible) They are £25 each

Those are HERE

and HERE is a link to my shop with some other paintings too.

Thursday 14 September 2017

Large Affordable Paintings Special Gift Me.

Last month, I invented a new way to deliver MASSIVE PAINTINGS. I wrote about it HERE. 

The main gist is that if you buy a painting, and pay for my travel and food I will hand deliver the painting to you (this is cheaper than shipping it) PLUS I will perform my spoken word show for you and your friends, or in your pub, playgroup, school assembly..WHERE EVER YOU WANT.

You can charge people a fee to see the spoken word show and make back the money for the painting, or as an altruistic gesture invite your family and friends and let me tell them all about FORMING A BAND with the hope of making them form their own.

I will also DJ wether you want me to or not.

You only pay for the painting (travel, food and let me sleep on your sofa) everything else I see as part of an adventure.

I sold two MASSIVE paintings using this system, I'm going to Derby for a birthday party in December and to New York for a vegan wedding renewal celebration in September.

I now see Derby and New York as twin cities.

I can not wait. These are both exactly the sort of adventures I was looking for when I had the idea.

I also have two large paintings that I would like to deliver in the same way. I'm not making new paintings these are large paintings from my exhibition in Berlin last year. So when they are gone they
are gone.

The two paintings are a large barcode trees. (acrylic on canvas 80cm x 60cm)

and a large Sealand. (70cm x 50cm)

I do not make these motifs anymore

Large Barcode trees costs 650 Euro

Large Sealand costs 500 Euros.

Massive Formed A Band still available (HERE)

If you are interested you can email me at

It would make a nice christmas present, but I'm afraid I can not spend Christmas day with you.

I'm already looking forward to sleeping on your sofa

Thanks. Eddie Argos.

Wednesday 12 July 2017

Massive Paintings, Affordable Shipping, Bonus Gift Me.

Hello. I have some large paintings for Sale.

Formed A Band 120cm x 100cm Acrylic on Canvas (this is the best size of Formed A Band Painting)

And 'Abstract Expressionism is Harder Than It Looks' also Acrylic On Canvas 120cm x 100cm

These paintings are ACE, and LOVELY and MASSIVE and VERY expensive to ship.

So I have figured out a way around that.

For the brilliant price of £850 (plus travel) you can have one of these amazing paintings hand delivered to you by me and as a bonus I will then perform my spoken word show 'I Formed A Band' for you (with a Q and A at the end)

I will perform wherever you like.. in your your your doctors waiting group.. working mans club... and also for any occasion you want...  a birthday ...a bar mitzvah... a court hearing..

You are more than welcome to invite other people along for free, or if you want to charge them money you can do that too, or maybe you would like to be the only person there to relish the awkwardness of me delivering an hour long monologue to you sat by yourself staring at me from your arm chair.

All you need to do is pay for me to get there and a little bit of refreshment.


I can't drive so you'll need to pay for a train, bus, taxi, horse and cart.. to get me to your house. As long as its possible to bring a large painting along with me I'll do it.

For Flying, I travel economy with just hand luggage, you will have to pay for the painting one way though of course, (outsize luggage on a flight is usually just the same as a suitcase) I dont mind flying at stupid o'clock.


You will also (unless you are in Berlin snd maybe London) have to give me somewhere to sleep. A sofa is totally fine. I don't mind a cat sleeping on me but a dog or larger animal is a bit too much.

I'll also need a tiny bit of food (I will eat whatever you are having as long as it is not liver)

And also a little bit of drink (I'll drink whatever you are having as long as its not Pernod)

And thats it.

So a painting and a spoken word show for £850. You can invite 85 of your friends and charge them £10 each to get a free painting, or you can try and bring more people and make a profit. I don't care as far as I'm concerned it is all included in the price of the painting.

Just don't lock me in a cage, or attack me, or photograph me when I'm asleep and we are all good.

If you are interested in this amazing offer. You can get in touch with me at put the words Massive Painting in the header of your email.

There is only one Abstract Expressionism painting. But large Formed A Band paintings can be made to order.

The painting will be very well wrapped and packaged.

I look forward to sleeping on your sofa.